March 2003 Archives
As Max has already posted, we went for our 12 week scan today.
It was a very quick visit, but it was great. In no time at all, our little bean has become a distinct human-shape! We could see the head, arms and legs. It was really exciting.
I keep surprising myself. I am not a person who gets excited about stuff, and every time anyone had shown me one of those little black and white scan pics, I struggled to see what the excitement was. But when it's your own, it's SO different. I couldn't stop looking at it. I never expected that reaction. I guess I'm a softie at heart.
We went for our 12 week scan today and I was so excited...although slightly nervous too, which I suppose is only natural. I didn't know what to expect as last time it just looked like a kidney bean! Lots of people had told me that you really see the difference but it was more than I could've imagined. It was so clear, you could easily make out the arms and legs and even make out a face!! Suddenly it has begun to look like a real person - its completely mad. Whilst the doctor was doing the scan the baby kept jumping up and down like it was lying on a bouncy castle, it made me laugh so much that the doctor could hardly carry on scanning me, through laughing! This is the best thing I have ever experienced and I am so happy. Seeing the little baby growing and developing really makes up for all those times I feel sick and grumpy. If this is how I feel at week 12 god knows how excited I will be when we go for our ! I can't wait!!!!
I realised the other day that I have said to so many people when discussing the prospect of future parenthood that being a mom doesn't worry me at all. Its not that I look at everything through rose-tinted glasses, my feet are firmly on the ground as far as having a baby goes. I am mentally prepared for sleepness nights, cyring and the constant demand for attention and it might sound weird to some people but I am really looking forward to this stage, to the unconditional love that a baby brings and to moving into the next stage of my life.
The thing that I have trouble getting used to is the fact that I have a real person growing inside me. It is the most strangest and surreal thing that I have ever encountered in my life! I know it is an absolutely miraculous thing but it still feels like I have an alien in my belly. Don't get my wrong I am really excited by it all, albeit overwhelmed, yet sometimes the thought of being a human grow bag kinda freaks me out!
Just imagine looking at your belly and seeing someone moving around inside you...how can that not seem freaky?!
Woz talked me into doing the blog, which seems like a great idea but weird at the same time. Its been years and years since I kept a diary, let alone such a public one so it'll take me a while to get used to doing it!
I hate to keep moaning to people all the time about feeling sick all the time and I am sure Woz is fed up with hearing it! Sometimes it feels like I am gonna be sick for the rest of my life though, being pregant is so weird. I am just in my 12 weeks now and I am looking forward to that spurt of energy that everyone tells me about. At the moment I think my clock is set to turn on the sickness at about 6pm and so every night I spend lying on the sofa with my blanket!! It sounds great but its so frustrating! I think Woz thinks I pretend sometimes so i can get him to make tea and tend to my needs hehehe - but its not true honest!
Fingers crossed it doesn't last for the whole 9 months otherwise I will drive everyone crazy!
I told our friend Sally today. It is her birthday (29 today!) so I rang to wish her well, and it seemed like a good time.
Her reaction was.... mixed. She said congratulations, of course, coz that's what you do, but I know she's not a fan of kids, so her reservations didn't surprise me. And she wins the prize for the first person to ask....
"Was it planned?"
It really made me smile. It's a question I've wanted to ask people loads of times in the past, but always thought it might be considered rude (generally when people aren't married - that sounds old-fashioned, but there's an assumption when people are married that it's less of a big deal, commitment-wise, I guess).
I would never expect that to worry Sal.
I also got the sense that she was a little disappointed - ANOTHER set of friends with baby-baggage, who won't be able to come and play anymore. We tried to re-assure her that wouldn't be the case, and I think re-assure ourselves at the same time.
